Why Ben is not a “bad boyfriend” in the context of Benlie (as portrayed in the comics)

First of all, I’d like to acknowledge that the comics technically are not considered canon. But I really want to point these out because the way I see it, these are still from an official source so they should still be considered good and accurate portrayals of the canon characters.

According to the canon episodes, the way the characters in the comic stories behave is pretty in line with their canon counterparts.

Also, who’s to say that these situations are not plausible to have happened some time between the canon episodes? They do not interfere with the story. In fact, they build on it.

Now, I don’t mean to hate on Julie. 

But, considering Ben is constantly blamed for their relationship not working out…I want to bring to attention how problematic the way she reacts is at times.

Cartoon Network Action Pack issue #50

“Tabloid Trouble”

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I realize that Julie is obviously not as comfortable with fame and publicity as Ben might be at this point, but the way she reacts to this scenario is a bit…immature.

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Ben probably doesn’t let it get to him because he’s used to it at this point. But his reaction is still pretty reasonable. There’s nothing much they can do about it, and it won’t really cause any immediate issues (aside from Julie’s feelings based on how she wants her relationship with Ben to be). 

The issue stems from the fact that she makes it into bigger problem than it is, and this causes actual trouble for both herself and Ben. 

She storms out angrily, saying this:

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The problem with this is that he wouldn’t be able to do that for her even if he wanted to. Julie seems to just want Ben to be her boyfriend, and nothing past that.

A person cannot just be what you want them to be.

She doesn’t seem to like it when any other aspect of his life interferes with them just being a couple. Which is understandable of course, but she still doesn’t seem to want to cooperate and hear Ben out until she absolutely has to.

I don’t know why she doesn’t realize that her relationship with Ben actually is private. The fact that those magazines were only spreading rumors implies that the public really doesn’t know all that much about their relationship. It doesn’t (and shouldn’t) stop them from enjoying their time together! It’s doesn’t (and shouldn’t) make their memories less significant!

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Ben very clearly does not want to argue with her. He never intends for things to go sour. And when they do, he ALWAYS tries to fix it, change something, or offers to try it another way. He is very cooperative and wants to communicate – two things that are very important and valuable qualities for a boyfriend to have. 

Anyway, Julie’s storming out of the store on her own gives the antagonists in this comic a chance to kidnap her easily. This would not have happened if Ben was leaving the store with her.

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He seems like a very dedicated boyfriend, actually.

He even considers giving up the Ultimatrix to save her because she is more important to him.

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In the end, Ben actually apologizes for the incident (as if it was all his fault). He takes all the blame onto himself…just like always. This just proves the points I made previously about his “good boyfriend” qualities.

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Even though this story ended happily, it does not mean that Julie learned her lesson about over reacting. In fact, she does it again…

Cartoon Network Action Pack issue #61

“Twosome”

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This comic wants to stress how close Ben and Julie are at this point in their relationship. Obviously, it’s a good thing to spend a lot of time with your significant other! You should enjoy their company to your hearts content.

But that begs the question, can there be too much of a good thing?

It’s not wrong to think so. I can see why it might come off as offensive to bring that up to your significant other. But, in a good relationship both parties involved should be allowed to speak their mind. It does not mean they need to agree or see eye to eye all the time…but acknowledging and respecting the other person’s point of view is crucial.

Ben brings up a concern that they might be spending too much time together.

Like I said, in a good relationship both parties should have equal freedom to share their honest opinions – even if the other person does not agree at all.

That is where communication comes in.

But does Julie try to do this?

No…she just runs off.

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Once again, this is a bit immature on her part. It makes it seem like only she is allowed to have an opinion in their relationship and only she is allowed to be right. And if something doesn’t go her way…then she throws a tantrum.

She doesn’t even have the decency to give Ben a chance to explain or try to understand where he’s coming from!

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Whereas if it was her who had brought up something he didn’t agree with, he would try to talk about it in order to avoid unnecessary misunderstanding (like the has done almost every time they get into an argument in the show…because he cares about working things out with her).

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She is already upset with him, so it’s no surprise, but for the rest of the story she keeps up this petty attitude and just completely flips on him. 

Like I mentioned earlier, it’s almost as if she does not accept the reality that Ben does not only exist to be her boyfriend. Because as soon as he mentions anything about not being around her (or anything that does not have to do with her) she just drops him as a boyfriend. She acts like she doesn’t want him any more if he can’t be with her all the time.

While they are arguing in this storyline, there is also an actual alien threat happening. Aggregor. 

And the issue here is that instead of realizing that (once again) Ben has other priorities to attend to and accepting that, she continues to be upset with him.

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(IS SHE LITERALLY GRABBING HIS ULTIMATRIX WRIST??!)

So much so that she gets in the way of him trying to deal with Aggregor and this happens…

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And these are some of the comments she makes while stuck to him:

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like…let him do his job, woman…

Eventually they reconcile because Ben does not make an effort to say anything else back to her (that she might also find offensive since she is so sensitive). He finds a way to make it work, as usual. 

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And once again, in the end, Ben apologizes. They even share a kiss. 

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He was able to overlook her tantrum again, just so that he could find a way to make her happy again. 

There is no doubt in my mind that Ben really, really did care about Julie. So to blame him for their failed relationship entirely is insulting. 

Because you know very well that he would absolutely take that blame…

Which is your favourite alternate Ben and why?

I think my fav is No Watch Ben!! He’s just proof that Ben is a hero because of his character, not his powers.

If you realize that just having superpowers does not automatically make someone a superhero, you can really put this into perspective.

Having superpowers means you have the ability to do anything you please.

There’s no obligation to be a hero. That’s a choice.

It’s the choice that Ben makes everyday.

And No Watch Ben also made that choice without hesitation.

honedperfection:

December 17th – a rescue plan

Some good news, I’ve been talking to two developers now and got them working together, we just had a meeting with the guys behind an existing large (millions of users) site similar to Tumblr, with a vibrant and open-minded community, and more importantly, it has open-minded owners who believe in free speech. They think we can get something done here to rescue the whole community.

I’m not allowed to reveal the site name yet. I can tell you it’s mainstream, open to everyone, open-minded and welcoming. (It’s not WordPress or any site owned by Facebook or Twitter. It’s not Pillowfort, that’s in closed beta. It’s not Ello, that’s mainly for artists. It’s not kinkspace or fetlife, those are too specialist. It’s not jux, that seems to be closed. It’s not Soup, that seems still in development and too small.)

One of the reasons for delaying the announcement for next few days is they don’t want a “land grab” where people take the names of current popular Tumblr users over there (cyber squatting). So they are looking at ways for existing Tumblr users to keep the same names on the new site.

More info over the days to come.

The plan is, broadly:

1. By December 9th, announcement of the new site and how to secure your username there

2. By December 10th, an online tool for bloggers to copy their existing content to the new site automatically, with the same tags and captions.

3. Bloggers will need to copy their content across between December 10th and December 17th if they want to use the automatic tool.

4. My understanding is that after December 17th there will be no public access to any “flagged” posts on Tumblr, but the original poster will still be able to see the flagged post (for a short time at least). Therefore, the original poster may still be able to manually download a post to their own PC or phone, after December 17th, and manually upload it to the other site. But if you have lots of posts that will take a long time, it will be better to use the automatic tool before December 17th.

Please understand that these dates are approximate and may change for technical or other reasons.

There may be a few rough edges or not so perfect looking site design on the transfer tool. Everyone is doing their best. The main goal here is to help as many people as possible preserve access to their content, in the short space of time Tumblr has allowed us, and preserve as much as possible of the Tumblr community spirit somewhere new.

The new site will cater for photo, GIF, text and html posts. It will not offer video and audio posts, due to cost reasons – maybe in future, but for now you will need to preserve video and audio content yourself in some other place.

If your Tumblr blog has a mixture of original content and reblogs, or all reblogs, all of that can be copied over to the new site. Reblogs will become “your” original content if nobody else posted them yet, otherwise they will be shown as reblogs. The devs are looking at ways to preserve attribution of reblogs back to the original Tumblr poster, if that person also moves to the new site.

Important: your Likes cannot be copied from Tumblr to the new site. You will have to go find the same posts again on the new site, and like them afresh.

(Similarly, existing reblog comments, asks, messages and other user interaction on Tumblr cannot be copied to the new site – that’s just too much to do, in the short time available.)

If you want to preserve any of your existing Liked posts on Tumblr, you will need to either: (1) download the post to your own PC, or: (2A) reblog it now to your own Tumblr blog, and then (2B) use the automatic tool, before December 17th, to move your whole Tumblr blog across to the new site.

If you have Liked a lot of posts here on Tumblr, the gridllr.com webapp should be able to help you do steps 1 and 2A quickly, I mean download or reblog.

(Someone complained to me today about the appearance of Gridllr on a phone. It’s best to use Gridllr on a PC, Mac or Tablet with a large screen.)

If you have liked a post here on Tumblr and the original poster decides to delete it, or even to delete their entire blog, some time before December 17th, then that post will be permanently lost. So if you want to be sure to preserve any of your Liked posts, you should best download or reblog as soon as possible. If it’s reblogged to your own blog it is safe from deletion, at least for next few days.

Obviously, you will lose access, after December 17th, to all past posts you have liked, if Tumblr has flagged them as NSFW. Again, the steps (1), or (2A) and (2B) covered above will be the only way to hold on to these posts.